Thursday, 29 March 2012

Homeward Bound

I'm heading home on Saturday for the Easter holidays which means I've been at uni for 6 months now and when I come back, I'll have only 7 weeks until the end of semester. In June: I'll have completed a quarter of my degree, I'll be done with this lovely year which doesn't count for anything, some of my friends will be graduating or leaving to go on placement, some people will be coming back off placement and there will soon be a new cohort of freshers. So much is going to change! But I do have to get through 2 weeks at home which are a potential minefield.

It should be lovely to catch up with my friends and family but it will be so strange being away from my friends here for so long. I'll miss seeing people every day, being able to walk just down the corridor or across campus to have a girly chat or a cuddle. It'll be odd not going to society meetings each week. But then again, at home there will be enough spontaneous pub evenings, shopping trips, meals and pub quizzes to make up for it. Hopefully. I imagine it'll be something like Christmas though when I spent a few hours each evening on skype to my flatmates and texting my friends. It's kind of nice to be able to communicate with both sets of friends consistently.

And soon enough I'll be back here rehearsing hard and relaxing even harder, let's not think about the lab reports and presentations, for a couple of weeks till it all kicks off again.

Bring it!

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

ABC's of me

Todays letter is N: Nicknames

Oh god, my friends were weird

My name is Elly.
So of course I've had all the usual Elly related ones from my darling sister: belly, jelly, smelly etc.

And from my friends
Kermit the frog

And now I've come to Uni and we seem to have regressed becasue here, people call me
Lord Smellington

Delicious. Thanks guys, reminds me of some good times.

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

The Little Things

OK I'm going to cheat a little bit and write about my Saturday not my Monday. Monday was fine but Saturday was so much better, and not just because I had no lectures.

On Saturday I spontaneously went into the city and indulged in ice cream and macarons, soaked up the sun and had a thoroughly lovely time. I wish it were possible to do spontaneous things every weekend, just decide to hop on a train somewhere you've never been or walk down a road you've never walked before. Hell, maybe even go to France! One day I'll pluck up the courage.

Monday, 26 March 2012

Monday Monday. Can't trust that day.

My brain and I are not friends today.

I can't seem to grasp the simplest concepts. Someone will ask me a question and I will have to have them repeat it 3 times, 3 different ways before I understand it. I keep twisting the meaning of the question until I can't see any sense in it.
Ah well, must be Monday.
On the plus side, it's wonderfully warm, desert island disks is with Jamie Cullum and my flatmates are performing in their concert band show tonight which should be lovely.

ABC's of me

M is for Mothers name

I think thats all there is to it

Oh yeah, my mum is awesome.

Sunday, 25 March 2012

Tired doesn't begin to cover it

I went out on Friday night.
Then I got 4 hours sleep.
Then I spent Saturday afternoon walking around the city in delicious sunlight (and company). 
I got home at 8pm and after giving instructions to my flatmate to wake me up in an hour, went to bed and fell straight asleep.
Being woken up at 9pm was not pleasant and I snapped at her to leave me alone.
My alarm went off at 8am, I reset it for 9, then 10.
I'm still shattered.
I've got a lingering cough and a 6 hour rehearsal today.
Only I had 3 vanilla and 3 pistachio- heaven! source

And I've eaten all my macarons from Laduree, sad times.
I wish I could honestly say I shared them but aside from 1 given to my flatmate and a few nibbles permitted to my weary companion I scoffed the rest myself. And it was worth it!

Saturday, 24 March 2012

ABC's of me

L is for Live which I assume means 'where do you live now'. But, I have some privacy issues and as such, I'll tell you about where I'd like to live in the future.

In some ways, it would be lovely to live in the town I grew up in. My childhood experiences could be those of my future. I would be near my family, near friends, near excellent shopping centres. And then, with any luck, one of my children would pass the entrance exam and become the 4th consecutive generation in our family to go to that school. We own that place!

But then, moving to a new town this year has brought so many new experiences and opportunities. I don't want to cut the world off just yet. Of course there is always travelling but you never get the same feel of a place as when you live there.

So who knows really? We'll see how it all unfolds.

Friday, 23 March 2012

Self imposed exile

Does anyone fancy coming round and cuddling all night?
We'll lock the door and you can be my excuse for not going out tonight.

Fill in the Blanks Friday

Happy Friday! I know its been a while since the last FitBF but Lauren at The Little Things We Do has lovely baby Fern to occupy her time so I think we can forgive her.

1.  My favourite colour is  navy blue

2.   My home decor colour palette includes  cream, purple and white, with a touch of green.

3.  Other people always tell me I look good in the colour  black. If I ever go out wearing top to toe black I'll get compliments but I always feel really dark and gothic wearing it.

4. The colour I detest is pink, it's claustrophobic and insufferable.  

5. If you were to look in my closet most of the colours you'd see would be black, grey or navy. Owing to the very strict dress code we had in 6th form, most of my skirts, jackets and cardis are dark coloured and only my tops and blouses are fun and bright. 

6. A colour that I simply cannot pull off no matter how hard I try is orange, but I'm OK without it. It's been years since colour-block orange tops were in fashion so I never really have to navigate around it.

7.  The colour of my favourite dress is black. It's a vintage feel black dress with a mesh overlay and so versatile. I love it.

Thursday, 22 March 2012

ABC's of me

K is for Kids.

I have none thank goodness! Nor any plans for them, at least for about 10 years. I'm 18. I'm at university. I love my freedom. I love living for me, doing what I want to do, when I want to do it.

I remember before leaving home I thought I would happily fast track these independent years, this 'me' time. I thought it would be great to settle down and live the domestic life. No way! The past year has taught me how much I would be giving up should I make that mistake. Definitely not going there.

But I do love kids. For the past 4 years I have volunteered in Girl Guiding UK with the Brownies, girls aged 7-10 years old. We do crafts and activities and sports and music and generally have loads of fun. Well, at least I do because having a fan club boosts my spirits!

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

ABC's of me

Today I shall tell you about my Job Title

Well, this could be a very short post considering I have no job. I'm 'employed' in full time education.

3 cheers for being a student!

Being a student with no job is excellent. It means you have loads of time for societies and going out and getting drunk.  Also lots of time to do assignments, not that it would matter.  You'd still do them last minute anyway.
That's all very well and good but the down side is that socialising costs money and students don't exactly have that in abundance.

Ah well, embrace debt and live now.After all, happiness isn't the destination, it's the means of travelling there.

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

ABC's of Me

I is for Instruments I play

Define play.
I can turn my hand to any instrument but if it's tuneful song you're looking for, please just let me sing.

I could squeak out a ditty for you on the flute although it's been nearly 5 years since I last played a flute. I could drum a quick beat for you on the kit but again, it's been a while. If you want instruments, see my friends. They are an amazingly talented lot. They play clarinet and piano and violin to grade 8 and diploma standard. Then others play sax, guitar, bass, flute; the list goes on.

But if you want me to perform for you, let me sing. It's the most tuneful I can be and, unlike the instruments I've tried, I really enjoy singing. I begged my parents for lessons when I was 9, only to quit at 11. No matter because I didn't give up music. I've been in a choir since I was 8 years old. School choir, Junior choir, Gospel choir , Choral society, Chamber choir, Show choir and Symphony choir. And for the past 7 years I've performed in my schools annual concert featuring songs from Broadway shows, often taking both a singing and acting role.

On moving to university my dad kept reiterating that I shouldn't lose the things I love, acting a music being the biggest one. But I almost did. The first month went by without me joining a single society. Luckily I was pointed in the right direction (read: bullied into auditioning for the autumn musical) and haven't looked back. And I shan't be making that mistake again. Without music and drama, my life would be a lot emptier.

Ha, sometimes I feel like Giselle in Enchanted as I often find myself singing while going about my daily life. I imagine it's rather irritating to other people but it keeps me sane, not to mention making the little narcissist inside me which likes to hear my voice happy!

Musical Funtimes and The BIG thing

Might have just got an email
It might have informed me I got a principal role in the musical
I might have danced around the flat like a mad woman
I might still be bouncing as I sit here
Huge grin? Hell yes!

So, so happy! The girls at my callback were all incredibly talented and rather intimidating. And before getting the news, I watched most of them perform tonight in MTSoc's production of Guys and Dolls. They're not half bad. Despite being tipped by my inside source (thank you) that my name was pencilled by that part, I was still apprehensive. But then I got the text about the final decision. Verified it by checking the official email. Jumped on the spot for about 5 minutes, much to the disgust of my flatmate who had to take a plate of food from my hand. She was not impressed, she said she's internally happy for me.

Apparently things happen to me when I get involved in musicals and productions. My alter ego comes out. She is affectionately known as 'Stressy Elly' and she is the Hyde to my Jekyll.

This is all hearsay I maintain as I don't recall changing one bit during the last show, I had a great time! I guess I'll just have to prove that last time was the exception to the rule.

Yeep, still thrilled. Can't wait to get started!

Monday, 19 March 2012

ABC's of me

Height is today's piece of creepy information which will enable any Internet stalkers and potential identity fraudsters to compile a complete profile of me and my life.

This feels very weird

So umm, a statistic about height according to the database of all that is inaccurate and non-referencable, wikipedia:
Yao Defen of China is the tallest living woman in the world at 2.33 m (7 ft 7 12 in)

We can safely say I'm not a biological freak. In the UK, the average height of a woman is 5'3' but I'm sure most people I know are my height or a little taller. It doesn't matter. This has tailed off into something unintelligible
I should stop.


I am now the proud owner of an army of chocolate santas!
This is the exact thing I own, even the box :)

For anyone thinking that it's March and that santas are a little out of season- be quiet. When you have late nights cravings and find websites selling food in bulk, you buy 18 santas. And countless bags of crisps, naan breads, frapuccinos, mini cheddars, maltesers and thai curry paste. An ecclectic mix some might say.

I've had to wait a week for this delivery and it has been painful for everyone involved. My flatmates have learned that if I turn to them with a sorrowful look in my eyes, it will most likely be followed by me moaning ''I want my santas''. They were getting good at reassuring me it would arrive soon.

And it did.
And I am happy.

Sunday, 18 March 2012

Today has been... suspended.
It has felt like a hiatus from real life.
I feel disconnected even when the whole world is buzzing around me.

Time is an old man
Pedalling ever slower
Hunched over the wheel

ABC's of me

Gold or silver?

Purely for the pictured moment, I will have to choose gold.

I wish I wasn't thinking right now

*I wrote this last night. I was feeling... down and rather overthinking things. But I want to publish it as a record of my having had this dilemma, this though process, this introspection of sorts. I don't feel down now and I'm not worried about what I'm feeling. I just want this there.

Do I want to write/ talk/ think?

I don't know how I feel.
I'm not sure what I want.
I wish everyone else was more upfront with their feelings and desires and motivations and thought processes.
I wish I understood people more.

That way it would be so much easier for me to stay above things. If I understood people and their thoughts then I could decide how I feel based on that. And yes, I do mean decide. I want to know all the facts before I figure out how I feel about things. What if I think about it and come to a conclusion just to find that I've only been seeing half the picture. What if I ever think and realise I feel something bad. I don't even know what bad would be. Something. Nothing.

Anything could be treading dangerous water. Anything takes me to vulnerability and that scares me. I hate the idea of people being able to be hurt me. Even the fact that my sister, or my closest friends of nearly 8 years know the buttons to push to cause the most pain I find hard. I don't like people having that ability to plunge the knife between my ribs and twist it just so.

This is nuts! There's absolutely no reason for me to feel this way.
It's 2am and you're moping and you're on the last episode of New Girl, what will I do with myself?!
Bloody hell, pull yourself together woman.

ABC's of me

F is for Favourite colour
All the colours?
All those shades, those hues.
Ok, enough with the romanticism.
If i have to pick one colour, I'll take navy blue.
For the rest of my life.

Saturday, 17 March 2012

Good Deed Feed

Gave directions to a lost man on campus.
Walked away feeling like I'd done something good.

Yeah, I sent him the wrong way.

Last Friday Night

Right now, I am one huge Katy Perry cliche.

Last night, Friday night, was a blur
I did kiss a girl
But I can't tell you if I liked it, I can't even remember it. I was just reliably informed this morning by my flatmate that I danced *very* closely with her and then kissed her, with tongue. At that point she decided I was too drunk and made basically every decision for me which I am unbelievable grateful for!

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Question Time

Being a student, living on campus makes it so easy to lose touch with the outside world.
I live in halls of residence and don't have a television. I also have very little structure to my evenings. 

When I'm at home, the television is on all the time in the evening. We always eat dinner while the news is on and at 10pm, we turn over and put the news on again, just to see what's happened in those 4 hours. My dad will very often catch the news over 4 times a day: the breakfast show, 12 o'clock news, 6 o'clock news and the 10 o'clock news. And sometimes, if he can't find anything educational around midnight, he'll turn to BBC News 24 and watch that for a while.

But here I'm lucky if I look at the homepage of the BBC news website at least once a day, let alone read any of the articles. My evenings have no plans. Some days I'm out at societies, some days at the gym. Sometimes I spend the whole evening in another flatmates room watching Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents or another educational, mind broadening program. But rarely do I sit down and think 'I'll watch the news, I'll catch up with what’s happening in the world'. 

We are so isolated on this campus, we live in an insulated society where the external world rarely infiltrates and you have to go actively seeking it. I catch snippets of current affairs on the university radio but if I was to watch Have I Got News For You? I'd be absolutely oblivious. And I feel ashamed of that. I'm watching Question Time at the moment, incidentally filmed here this week, and each new topic raised I understand very little about. I really need to catch up on the news more. 

BBC 30 years of Question Time
 How can I argue that young people deserve the vote? I always argue that young people know enough about politics, are educated enough about the issues facing our country and the wider world, to be able to have their say in the elections. But I'm not doing anything that suggests this is true. If you asked me vote on which party I wanted in government, I would base my decision on 8 month old information. I don't know how the coalition has been dealing with events in the past few months. I don't have anything to base my decision on so why should I have any sway on the future of our country?  I’d like to see my habits change so that I at least feel I can competently discuss the issues happening in the world.

ABC's of me

Today, according to the grand list, is the day I tell you about the essential start to my day

I literally cannot function in the morning without light. The first thing I do when my alarm goes off, after pressing snooze a few times, is to throw open my curtains and let the day in, much to the chagrin of any guests I might have. My friends from home like to wake up slowly. They take about an hour from alarm tone to becoming vertical whereas I like to throw off the covers and jump straight out of bed. Needless to say, sleepovers are filled with me bitching at them to get up and them pulling the covers over their heads.

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Isn't it funny

Isn't it funny how people you met less than a month ago can become people you share personal information with, or who share VERY personal information with you.
How people that a few months ago you were amiable with are now difficult to share the same room with, let alone the same group of friends.
That people who, a few months ago, were total strangers, are now people who you feel very close to.
The people in my first semester have have completely diversified in so many directions I didn't expect at all, but this has been a great surprise.
People who, in October, were only facebook profiles, are now counted amongst your closest friends.

So much has changed by way of friendships, flat dynamics, people I've met through societies and through my course. The amount of change from semester 1 to semester 2 is incredible. The way the status quo has changed with some people. The way that certain people have revealed their true selves. Some of these revelations were met with enthusiasm, others with less positive responses.

I don't know, I wonder if I've changed. If the me that I present now is different to the one who introduced herself in fresher's week. But does it really matter? Although people make their initial judgement on you and your character in the first few seconds of meeting you, the rest of their time spent with you forms the lasting impression of your personality, of the essence of you. So maybe the first time you met a few people they went running... Who cares? I have a wonderful social circle, even if I have abandoned them for the night. I'm just going to decide to be happy.

Good night and happy pie day!

Why aren't I being recruited by MI5 as we speak?

Letting all your friends walk out of the front door before you and then closing it behind them- genius! This way, I was sociable at pre-drinks and, hopefully, not noticeably absent at citrus.

I think the plan is working.

I'll text people in a bit, let them know I'm OK. But for now, I'm going to revel in my mastery.

ABC's of me

It’s day four which means today’s tid-bit of information is dog themed.

I don’t own a dog but I do have a favourite dog who I love more than any canine on the planet. The main reason is that I don’t actually like dogs *cue gasps of horror and disappointment*

I know, I know. I’m a horrible person. I get the appeal, they’re cute and fluffy and loyal and have the most adorable eyes and the lovely wet nose. But really, they just don’t compare to cats in my eyes. Cats are so cuddly. They come and curl up on your lap, tuck their delicate legs underneath them and nuzzle into you and then sleep, for hours. They just radiate love and affection. They sit with you when you’re sick or sad and they have so much personality.

But enough about the best animals in the world and more about my favourite dog ever. She’s called Dusty, she’s a Beagle, she’s a *few* years old. I’m going to guess that she’s around 3 years old but I can’t actually remember. Meh, she’s not mine so I don’t have to know these things. She’s the dog of my dear friend Emma. I just know that she has an overabundance of energy, the silkiest fur and once fell asleep chewing gently on my finger, draped across my lap. Nawww. Even when she was a little, yapping ball of fur, skittering around your ankles and nipping at your toes you couldn’t help but be bowled over by her charm.

So, even though I’d chose cats any day of the week, if it has to be dogs, there’s only one dog for me.

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

The Little Things

Some things that made yesterday great were:

- Buying a cheese tiger baton still warm from the bakery
- Going to body balance for the first time in weeks and thoroughly enjoying it
- The band which they use to tourniquet your arm during blood tests having dracula and bats printed on it. I can't help but feel it's rather appropriate.

Monday, 12 March 2012

All laced up

Finding frozen strawberry laces in the freezer whilst on a desperate junk food search
Epic win

Sunday, 11 March 2012

Cuddles needed


My report is so close to being finished
Which is exactly why I'm having a major bout of restlessness
I've tried handstands, headstands, lying on the bed in different positions, walking to the kitchen and back, the splits and other gymnastics and stretching.
To no avail.
I'm currently sitting with one leg bent infront of me and the other stretched out behind me.
It's very comfortable
But not helping

Lazy afternoons

Photoshop banter whilst listening to Pink Floyd
This is the high life

ABC's of me

I have a 6 page research report due in soon, so in true fashion, I'm not working on it. 

Today's letter is C which is about your least favourite chore.
Well I don't live at home so I don't have to do chores. The flip side of that is that I have to do everything to keep my life in order: washing up, cleaning, hoovering, laundry etc; it's OK because I only have to do 1 persons worth of each of those things but its still a drag.
My least favourite of all those is vacuuming though- lugging Henry hoover down the corridor and wrestling with him until he finally picks up all the pits that magically make their way onto my floor is not enjoyable.
Hence the reason I do it so infrequently.


Saturday, 10 March 2012

ABC's of me

Whoops! So I just realised that I completely forgot to do yesterdays blanks. But then I had a look at them and they're house and decor themed which links nicely to today's ABC: B is for bed size.

Considering I love in university halls, I have a little box room with a single bed, desk, sink and 2 small chest of drawers. If I sit on my bed, I can lean to touch both walls without moving. And I live right next to a pathway. There are tons of interesting characters who walk past and, when procrastinating, they offer a wonderful distraction however the downside is that, if I ever have company, the curtains stay firmly closed!

ABC's of me

She's only 18
Don't like the Rolling Stones
She took a short cut
To being fully grown
(She's only 18, Red Hot Chilli Peppers)

Yep, so as you might have guessed, I'm 18.
18 means something different to everyone but here is selection of people's responses and opinions:
Mother: 18 is go grown up, what happened to my little girl?
A1: You were minus two when I was dancing to this!
A2: Too young, it's all about experience.
S: Too old, if your age isn't on the clock, you're not for me.
M: Fucking hell you're a child!
L: Really? I thought you were much older.
T: Damn, I put a bet on you being 23.
J: You're so young, and yet you act like such a mum.

Mixed messaged mostly following 1 of  2 themes. The first, and preferable one, is surprise that I'm this young. The second comes from older students and is about how much I have to come, I haven't experienced, I have to learn. And is often said in a rather patronising way. Followed by a hair ruffle . Always fun.

But to me, 18 is just... now. It's just the number of years I've been alive. But, in a philosophical train of thought, the way society sees 18, what it means to people, I find difficult to attribute to myself. Going by cultural definitions, I would put myself a few years older. I'm not a  media-typical teenager who gets drunk on the streets, wears hoodies and excessive make up or dresses provocatively, smokes, has sex and gets pregnant and does drugs.

I'm Grace (L) not Amy (C) or Adrian (R)
I do none of those things! I own one leavers hoodie, I much prefer getting drunk at home, I believe that the imagination is the best way to tease, once I came to rehearsal wearing makeup and was asked if I had my stage make up on so I could see it against the lighting! I've never touched a cigarette, I'm not an idiot and the idea of drugs I find rather scary. 

I'm plain and boring. I like movie nights and baking, reading Tolstoy, cuddling with the girls, dancing to Indie music and 80s tunes. I'm not a menace to society. Can I just say I'm 40? Please? Ok, 50.

But 18 has been filled with great things. 
Legally being allowed out to clubs and buying my own drinks, even if the downside to that is that I have to pay for them now.  Registering to vote. Coming to uni and EVERYTHING the past few months has entailed. Its been a roller coaster year but it's been so great. Bring on another year. I'm ready for its new experiences, more work and more play. 

Because after all, it's not the destination that matters, its the journey.

Friday, 9 March 2012

What the actual fuck?

And I repeat, what the actual fuck? happened last night?

I don't like the fact that the criteria for a good night, nay the standard that one is expected to meet for a night to be deemed good, is getting very drunk and making out. In a text message, my friend defined a good night as:

"Pulled, had fun, drank some drinkz, sames as always!!"

Why can't a good night be sober. Or only just tipsy. Why can't I just dance with my friends all night? Why would you want to exchange saliva with a nameless, faceless person who frankly is a poor kisser (let's face it, who really kisses well when drunk?) and you have no interest in keeping in contact with. In fact, you avoid him for the rest of the night. I don't understand the appeal. And I don't want a repeat!

Strategy for the next night out:
- Crisp ale, currently sitting on my shelf
- Girly make-up session beforehand
- Group of good friends
- Lots of drunk people around whom dancing isn't embarrassing. Next to those guys, you look like Darcey Bussell.
- Tunezz!

Right, I think a Flares night is needed! There is a distinct lack of light-up dance floor, retro pop and middle-aged Elvis wannabes in my life right now... maaaaybe I'll give that a miss. But a fun night of dancing without any embarrassing incidents is required.

There's a reason I dont love Casino...

It isn't because it's always empty before 1am
It isn't because by 'free shot' they mean sourz or half a jager bomb
It isn't because all the girls there are absolute whores

It's because, when I go, I seem to join the scores of whores and, this time, ended up attached to the face of some short-ish, not that cute, guy who was paying enough attention to me for me to notice and then get off with him.

Unfortunately there are pictures. Otherwise I would deny it ever happened.

Gah, I wish that was the case and I had said no to Mark or whatever his name was. Oh well, who knows what position I'm in right now. Certainly neither of us do it seems. Maybe he does. But we've discussed nothing except <<edit out>> and thus, idk. But in the morning I'm not deleting this post or editing it, other than the few, *extensive*, spelling mistakes!

Night and stop bloody thinking!

^^Editors note: I'm really not sure how last night happened, interesting. I don't usually do those things, especially with people I don't know.

Thursday, 8 March 2012


People assume that, as a student, I go out every night of the week, sleep through lectures and drink beer for breakfast.
And whilst the guy I sat next to did sleep through our entire social psychology lecture and I got a text informing me of the people supping pints at 10.30 this morning at the union bar, sometimes I just don't feel like going out.

Sometimes I feel like having a shower nap and curling up in bed with a movie, or the box set of friends, or just curling up with company and not having to face the world and be sociable. Tonight is one of those nights. But I'm being dragged out by my flatmate for our own mini pub crawl beginning on campus, hitting up cheap pitchers and ending with £1.50 jagers. On any normal night I'd be so up for this. But today, sitting here in new, going-out clothes, even sexy, matching underwear isn't getting me in the spirit.

I'm a rubbish student!

ABCs of me!

It's a bright and sunny day here, fewer than usual weird people have peered in through my window and I don't have lectures until 4pm so all in all, today looks sets to be great.

In an attempt to create a bit more structure and eliminate some of the rambling from this blog I'm going to try something I borrowed from my friend Emma. Each day, expect for FITB and The Little Things days I'll be posting 1 thing about me. Sounds like it could be interesting.

And don't worry, there will still be plenty of teenage-angst-movie-esque posts because I need somewhere to vent.

So, for reference, here's the list I'll be blogging on for the next month or so:
A. Age
B. Bed size
C. Chore that you hate
D. Dogs
E. Essential start to your day
F. Favourite Colour
G. Gold or Silver?
H. Height
I. Instruments you play
J. Job title
K. Kids
L. Live
M. Mother's name
N. Nicknames
O. Overnight hospital stays
P.  Pet peeves
Q. Quote from a movie
R. Right or left handed
S. Siblings
T. Time you wake up
U. Underwear?
V. Vegetable you hate
W. What makes you run late?
X. X-rays you've had
Y. Yummy food that you make
Z. Zoo animal

Over and out.

Wednesday, 7 March 2012


Today has been such a weird day.
I can't explain why exactly; nothing bad or challenging or upsetting has happened and yet I feel sort of... off balance. It's not a good feeling and it's resulted in me shutting myself in my room with Spotify for most of the day.

I dragged myself out of my hobbit hole (you should see the size of this place, hobbit hole is a realistic term) to see The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel with my future housemates. It was a really great film. An absolutely brilliant cast (Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Bill Nighy to name but a few) injected a little extra something into a hilarious script and it was set in an overwhelmingly colourful location, Jaipur in India. My friend was jumping about the whole film squealing "ooh I've been there! And there! And we drove through there! THAT'S MY HOTEL!!" which was absolutely adorable for the first 5 minutes.

But somehow the film touched a nerve, or brushed too close to some sensitivities, I'm not really sure what happened. All I know is that near the middle of the film, Graham was reunited with the man he loved as a teenager and has loved his whole life. They shared a passionate embrace, nothing more, and suddenly I found tears streaming down my face. I was submerged in sadness, it was overwhelming. For me, the rest of the film was so sad, every event would fuel the fire of my tears and they continued racing down my cheeks. Each new event: a death, a marriage ending, the loss of a potential lover, a lonely old singleton, a strong old singleton; all of them I felt so deeply. I couldn't understand why I felt like that but even when the credits were rolling I had to bury my face in my friends shoulder. I wasn't sad about anything in particular, nothing in my life, just the themes of the film, ageing- whether alone or with others and coming to terms with that; was more than I could deal with apparently. I was just... emotional.

To be honest, once I'd stopped crying it was embarrassing to have to walk out of the cinema with a red puffy face and head to the restaurant. But the sadness still prevailed. Even thinking about the film now makes me feel down. I don't understand why it affected me so strongly and I don't like not knowing.

Ah well, should be hearing back about the auditions (which I fluffed) soon. Fingers crossed for some involvement, the chorus would be great fun.

Good night

A slice of heaven

I know essentially this is just a cup of sugar but I'm arguing that the lemon juice makes it a tad healthier. And if you don't like the tartness of lemons, go for oranges and claim health benefits that way.

Take a bit of both of these ^^


Do this ^^

Alternative Recipe

Do a bit of stirring and voila! Extra points for being a cheap and tacky student if you make it in a mug.

Go on. Give in. Trust me it makes a rainy day so much easier to bear.
 Having cinema and dinner plans with the girls also doesn't hurt

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Bricking It

It's always fun when you learn the song for your audition 2 hours beforehand.
Confidence levels = 100%


The Little Things

Sometimes, one little thing can make an otherwise miserable day seem so much brighter.
Things like rainbows, double rainbows, cancelled lectures, finding a pound on the floor, being donated clothes by your friend/neighbour/sister etc.
I thought that, seeing as the beginning of the week is such a drag, on Tuesdays, I'll post one little thing that's happened on Monday which made my day a whole lot better.

And this week I have 2 things that made Monday great. Firstly was skipping my morning tutorial to spend more time in bed, so deliciously luxurious, which set my day off to a great if not thoroughly productive start. Secondly, I ended my day in the supermarket where reduced items were everywhere! I picked up two punnets of blackberries for 20p and four muffins for 15p!

I am one happy bunny today
(Still no idea on the song for musical auditions though. Yes they are today and tomorrow. No, the pressure isn't getting to me at all)

Monday, 5 March 2012

Living It Up

Eating homemade samosa mix

Straight from the pan

With the wooden spoon

That's the high life!

Saturday, 3 March 2012

The straw that broke the camels back

I seem to be lapsing back into my pre-uni days where a night out or long walk would send me to bed for a few hours and leave me drained for a day.

Last night I was so angry at everyone and it absolutely ruined my night. I would have loved the headphone disco, there were some brilliant anthems and some great RnB and dubstep and both are wonderful to have a little boogie to and lose yourself in.

But when your friend gets very drunk and blames you, then you start to get annoyed. 'You kept pouring me drinks, you got me drunk' Well no, actually I poured you two drinks over 3 hours ago. The 4 drinks you bought for yourself in the union I had nothing to do with and had I been there I would have stopped you. But now it's time for me to take you home, you're a mess, you spilt my drink, knocked over countless glasses and you are embarrassing yourself in front of my friends. Fine, if you won't leave I can't be dealing with this.

When people decide that your private life is their business and that they can spread it around and make judgements on it, the annoyance notches up a fair bit more. Why can't anything just be private? Why can't I be the one to make the call about who knows whats happening in my life? If you didn't know in the first place its because I didn't want you to know and now that you've found out there is absolutely no way it's OK for you to go and tell other people who I also chose not to tell. And then for you as a group to make judgements and tell me that you 'don't agree with what I'm doing but we love you anyway' makes me so angry. Who gave you the right to sit there on your high horse and tell me how you feel about the choices I'm making?! Its not on!

Gah, this splurge of emotions is what I needed to walk off. That and the residual pain from the awful cramp I kept getting in the night. How is it that after 12 miles and 2 long phone calls I felt absolutely drained, emotionally and physically, but after a 4 hour nap I can so easily begin feeling annoyed again?

Normally I'm so good at turning off my emotions, so good at not thinking about things if I don't want to. I love the wholeness of anger but this anger is emotional, it's painful and I've realised things about people who I was getting very close to and will have to be close to for years to come that make me doubt whether we are the perfect fit I had believed before. I'm not really sure. We'll see how things go.

Wanted: Human Punchbag

Preferably one who'll let me hit their face.
I really just need to get this... feeling... out of me.
If I walk less than 10 miles and feel good I'll surprise myself.

Friday, 2 March 2012

Fill in the Blanks Friday

Free food being given out at my favourite bar on campus?
As a student, I feel it's my duty to take up these opportunities when they arise, especially when you can claim it as a reward for a long lecture on neo-freudianism, joy.

1.  The highlight of my week was   coming 2nd in the pub quiz yesterday and winning a bottle of wine for our awesome team!

2.   If I had to classify my interior design aesthetic it would be... at home it's rustic chic which white chipping paint and birdcages. Here is student-chic. There are cute little personal touches like a couple of photos, paper cranes and felt flowers but there's not that much that can be done with this box

3.  My first vehicle was   a tricycle? I've never owned a car but the first car I ever drove was a 2006 Vauxhall Zafira, a hefty 7 seater. I loved driving that car, I felt commanding on the road.

4. An item I need to have in my day in order to function is  I don't really have an item Per Se. I need people. Days without seeing people and interacting I find very difficult.

5. My favourite way to waste time is  catching up with friends via skype. I'll just send a group text around and see who's free. Voila- 3 hours gone!

6. Right now I could really go for  a cheese toastie with chili dipping sauce, followed by a toffee cookie and a vanilla milkshake.

7.  This weekend I will be  helping out with the 24 hour play! Have I mentioned it before? Basically, 3 writers and 12 actors have 24 hours to write, rehearse, direct and then perform a show in front of a live audience at the students union. At 8pm on Saturday the writers will be given their theme and at 8pm on Sunday the curtains will open. Should be a laugh even if it will be very stressful! Thankfully I'm not acting or writing, I'll just be involved marketing or props or something low stress.

Vegetarian goulash here I come!

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Audition Stress

Auditions for this years musical are coming up in less than a week and I am experiencing...singers block? It's similar to writers block where there is a difficulty putting words on paper except my problem is finding a song for my audition. I just can't seem to find anything that screams 'YES! Use me to audition with'. I can't even find anything that whispers that!

I had a flirtation with Green Finch and Linnet Bird from Sweeney Todd. Well, it was more like she gave me a coy look from across the bar, I approached cautiously with my best smile and chat-up line. Turned me down flat.

There were a few others that looked like they could be promising. I had a little grind with Your Song, Elton John, on the dance floor but she soon found a better partner.

The same happened with Ellie Gouldings The Writer. I even managed to buy her a drink. It was looking good, I was feeling confident about this one so I gave her my number. She gave me some excuse and left. Its fair to say my night wasn't a success.

Finding a song is so stressful. You have less than 2 minutes to present the best you to the director and musical theatre director. You want to show them everything you can do: your range, your ability to belt, your expression and emotion. You want it all to be there, for your song and performance to encapsulate the real essence of you and what you can give to the show.

And somehow, it's just not happening this time.
And it's so frustrating.