Thursday, 5 January 2012

Where did the time go?

Don't you find yourself thinking this so many times each day?

My essay is due on Monday and I currently have 0 words on paper- where did the time go?
I sat down to quickly check my facebook and now its 2am- where did the time go?
Looking up from a good book and realising its pitch black outside- where did the time go?

(Admittedly the last one isn't that surprising given how it's dark here at 4pm which is incredibly depressing)

I often reflect on how time has passed, how I'm a different person to the one I was back then, how my ideals, my morals, my expectations have changed. Through my psychology course I've learnt how, in your early teens your enitre identity changes as your body changes and the stages you go through developing and shaping your new self, the self that you will fundamentlly be for the rest of your life, Logically, in an academic and purely theoretic sense I understand it, but it just seems crazy that I've had so many life experiences in such a short time and all of them, even the ones I don't remember, have helped sculpt the person who sits here today. How can I have lived through so much already, it feels like no time at all.

I remember starting uni like it was last week. I can feel myself sitting, crying in the car because it was all too much. I'd just been released from hospital the day before, I had packed my entire life into a suitcase and a few boxes in under 2 hours, argued with my Dad not to make me go, to give me just one more day but to no avail. We were sitting in the car, my old life rushing away and a new one hurtling towards me at a pace I wasn't prepared for. Then, about 50 miles into the drive, I just decided to be ok with it all. And oddly enough, once I had made that decision, I was ok. Sure, I didn't have everything planned out but I'd cope, I always had. Its like I made that drive this morning, it's so vivid- where did the time go?

But I also remember all the experiences I've had at uni over the past 12 weeks. Freshers week (what I remember of it at least) and getting to know the people with whom I'd be living for the next year, meeting my coursemates, meeting the people who I'll be living with next year and hopefully will be good friends for years to come, attending lectures, writing essays, joining societies, meeting more wonderful people, being in a musical and having friends and in-jokes from that, flirtations, embarrasing romantic moments - being asked out by someone you hoped would never ask; the awkward lean; the bad kisses, parties, film nights, comdey nights, nights in with the girls, midnight walks, sunday roast at the pub, they all happened. Some I remember more vividly than others, some I only know because I was informed the next morning (laughed at by a jedi anyone?) and some I know I'll never forget but all have impacted my life in some way. Be it the people I've met, the challenges I've set myself, the activities I've completed, the experiences I've thrown myself into! I can't quite believe it's all happened, where did the time go?

Yes, this is a focus shot, I apologise. But it represents lots of lovely times and was taken in the kitchen at uni- see how clean it is!

Speaking of, look at the time! I've leart from experiences that no matter how long you leave them, essays, unlike food in the fridge, do not grow arms, legs and a conscience and write themselves. Sadly.

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