Wednesday 4 April 2012

Suffocating

My god I can't breathe

I'm sitting in the living room, Annie Lennox is the only sound I can hear and all I want to do is escape. I need to leave, to move, to see something new. I want to walk outside or talk to someone or see someone who isn't related to me.  I need something I can't have.

I can't walk outside on my own, here it's not safe.
I can't talk to anyone, they're away, or tucked up in bed, or across the world.
I can't just get in my Mum's car and drive across the country all because I want is to be with a friend.

It really could be anyone. If I thought my friends here were awake and willing, I'd go and get them. I'm sure they would wake up and get in the car with me but what would I even say? I just needed to leave? I really want to say- lets drive till we see the sun or the ocean, whichever one we get to first.

It's times like this I wish I smoked or took drugs or something just to release my mind from these ties. Maybe I should take this opportunity to use the emptiness of my mind and think? Maybe not.

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