Mind Warped

A feeling of weightlessness, swifty followed by the ground.

I fell off the bed.

Twice.

My head hurts.

I was so confused this morning. I woke up fully dressed, lying on top of the covers on flatmate 42's bed with bruises on my shoulders. My first memory was of falling off the bed, then doing it again and only then did I wonder where flatmate 42 was sleeping and why she didnt kick me out of her bed. 

Padding down the corridor I peered into the gloom of room 40 and saw a prone figure under the covers. It didnt look like the evicted 42, more like my other flatmate, 32, the guy I now remembered falling asleep on. Curious. So where was 42? I assumed she was in 32s bed, but why was he in mine? What had happened?

I was far too tired for these thoughts. Bleary eyed, I retraced my steps and passed out for another few hours in unfamiliar surrounding.

 

Were going on a bear hunt

Not in the airing cupboard, not in the washing basket, not on the line and not in the machine.

Where are my clothes?

Im packing to go back to uni and already I've filled a suitcase and2 bags and I know I'm still missing stuff, this is getting silly.

This is how my room looked before I started packing, except you couldnt see the floor!

In less than 24 hours I and my copious amounts of luggage will be back on the road to uni and boy am I ready to be back. Home's great but there's nothing like the independence of living away from your parents. Not to mention, I miss my friends. We've known each other since October but it's such an intense experience, that first semester during which your whole life changes and you go through it all together. I consider myself very lucky because I've forged some friendships which I hope will endure but I know some people have not been that lucky.  

I'm so ready to go back.

Procrastination for dummies #3

I have just one work for you:
Facebook

Procrastination for dummies #2

Open browser, type stumbleupon.com into your http bar.
Download, create an account and get the toolbar.
Stumble away.

Fill in the Blanks Friday

Today's blanks are all about free time.

And this psychology degree, especially the holidays but even during term time, affords lots of free time. It's just a shame about all the work I *should* be doing which would fill it and all the faffing about on the internet that I actually do to fill it. Oh, and the occasional trip to the gym- must make those more frequent.

Now, time for those blanks!

Thanks to Lauren at The little things we do

1.   One of my favorite things to do when I have free time is  read. Anything. Well, nothing educational but other than that, if its in English, I'll read it. Currently on the go I have: Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment; Chekov, The Lady with the Dog; Hemmingway, For Whom the Bell Tolls and next up is Heller, Catch 22. At the moment they are all rather high-brow but I've just finished 3 trashy, indulgent, teen-fiction books and thoroughly enjoyed them.

2.   When I have free time I tend to waste it, the internet is my vice. Its far too easy for me to spend hours looking up nail designs on pinterest or tumblr or laughing at0 memes or finding out what my freinds were up to in February 2008 (thank you timeline).


3.  If I had an entire day completely to myself I would get up fairly early (so as to maximise the day), eat pancakes with lemon and sugar, have the longest bath known to man- complete with unlimited hot water, a thick, new book and my spotify playlists. Then I'd blowdry my hair to oblivion, I absolutely love the ritual of brushing and drying my hair until its soft and silky and straight but it's a luxury my hair can only bear occasionally. Afterwards I'd put on a dress (+many, many layers) and head to the park with my iPod to sit on the awesome swing and sink into my headspace. I would sort out my thoughts and feelings and relax. Coming home I'd have a bowl of Kim-Chi noodles and savour the burning of the chili on my tongue. The afternoon I'd spend crafting- embroidery or crochet and playing with my cats before ordering a Vindaloo from my favourite curry house. I would watch whatever period or crime drama was on the BBC that night and then overload on quiz programs: Buzzcocks, Mastermind, University Challenge, Mock the Week, Have I got News- whatever's on iPlayer or OnDemand. Finally, I'd make myself sleepy watching a horror film before sprinting for bed and lying scared of the dark between the clean sheets.

I want this day to exist, so. badly. now.

Mmmmmmm delish, cheers Delia :)

4.  I would prefer to spend my free time (alone or with others...) with others. We dont have to do anything or say anything but I just prefer to be in the company of another person. Ideally there's a group of us, different individuals with mutual respect, maybe good food and preferably booze and a good atmosphere.

5.  Most of my free time happens  on Wednesdays when I have no lectures but the rest of my flat does so I can spend my time doing anything, uninterrupted.

6.  The best thing about free time is  knowing that it doesn't matter if you spend all of it doing nothing, it's yours to enjoy.

7.  The next time I have free time I should probably write this damned essay or revise but instead, I'll probably be on facebook, flirting on chat or teasing my flatmates on skype.


Now back to the books!

Procrastination for dummies #1

Take an orange, peel and segment.
Pick every little bit of pith off each segment.
Watch the hours fly by.

Where did the time go?

Don't you find yourself thinking this so many times each day?

My essay is due on Monday and I currently have 0 words on paper- where did the time go?
I sat down to quickly check my facebook and now its 2am- where did the time go?
Looking up from a good book and realising its pitch black outside- where did the time go?

(Admittedly the last one isn't that surprising given how it's dark here at 4pm which is incredibly depressing)

http://onceiamfree.tumblr.com/

I often reflect on how time has passed, how I'm a different person to the one I was back then, how my ideals, my morals, my expectations have changed. Through my psychology course I've learnt how, in your early teens your enitre identity changes as your body changes and the stages you go through developing and shaping your new self, the self that you will fundamentlly be for the rest of your life, Logically, in an academic and purely theoretic sense I understand it, but it just seems crazy that I've had so many life experiences in such a short time and all of them, even the ones I don't remember, have helped sculpt the person who sits here today. How can I have lived through so much already, it feels like no time at all.

I remember starting uni like it was last week. I can feel myself sitting, crying in the car because it was all too much. I'd just been released from hospital the day before, I had packed my entire life into a suitcase and a few boxes in under 2 hours, argued with my Dad not to make me go, to give me just one more day but to no avail. We were sitting in the car, my old life rushing away and a new one hurtling towards me at a pace I wasn't prepared for. Then, about 50 miles into the drive, I just decided to be ok with it all. And oddly enough, once I had made that decision, I was ok. Sure, I didn't have everything planned out but I'd cope, I always had. Its like I made that drive this morning, it's so vivid- where did the time go?

But I also remember all the experiences I've had at uni over the past 12 weeks. Freshers week (what I remember of it at least) and getting to know the people with whom I'd be living for the next year, meeting my coursemates, meeting the people who I'll be living with next year and hopefully will be good friends for years to come, attending lectures, writing essays, joining societies, meeting more wonderful people, being in a musical and having friends and in-jokes from that, flirtations, embarrasing romantic moments - being asked out by someone you hoped would never ask; the awkward lean; the bad kisses, parties, film nights, comdey nights, nights in with the girls, midnight walks, sunday roast at the pub, they all happened. Some I remember more vividly than others, some I only know because I was informed the next morning (laughed at by a jedi anyone?) and some I know I'll never forget but all have impacted my life in some way. Be it the people I've met, the challenges I've set myself, the activities I've completed, the experiences I've thrown myself into! I can't quite believe it's all happened, where did the time go?

Yes, this is a focus shot, I apologise. But it represents lots of lovely times and was taken in the kitchen at uni- see how clean it is!

Speaking of, look at the time! I've leart from experiences that no matter how long you leave them, essays, unlike food in the fridge, do not grow arms, legs and a conscience and write themselves. Sadly.

Nails nails nails

I'm in such a nails mood, I want to do every nail in a different colour and style.

And so ensued a massive tumblr scouring for inspiration, so much so that I had to pin then to my pinterest board to save for a rainy day and settled on these instead.

 But instead of having the base in pale pink, I have silver glitter, pink shimmer, pink glitter, plum and gold glitter- they are delectable! Even though the gems are slightly annoying and you have to be careful with every action not to pull them off but I just can't stop admiring them.

These are the next ones I have my eyes on.
I'm really into bows now and glitter and cute vintage stuff:

But before that I HAVE to have Harry Potter nails!!

Awesomes!

Now dig yourself you of that mess

Overdramatic maybe but still, I dug myself into a bit of a hole

Ever done that?
I get myself in situations where we start out innocently enough and the conversation just escalates and before I know it, we're talking about bondage and new experiences! How does this happen?

Regardless, it's harmless, and I'm such a puss that when I feel I'm in too deep I say something entirely boring and unrelated and were back on solid ground, for me at least.

It does mean that my relationships oscillate somewhat but were making progress and I know in myself that I've come a long way in the past few months and I'm going to allow myself a few mistakes.

And its all fun and games, I'm finding myself and loving every minute.

Obligatory celebratory message

Happy New Year

I know it's a bit late but I spent the long weekend catching up with a couple of my friends. We went into the city and watched the fireworks and it was an incredible night. We went really early and walked around for a few hours before staking our place by the river at 5pm.

Sitting down at 5pm and realising you have a 7 hour wait was so demoralising but I taught my friends two brilliant card games- Irish snap and 3 card life. By the end our fingers were smarting but we were in hysterics and a few hours had passed. We spent the wait drinking out of plastic bottles and feeling rather cheap, singing along terribly to the music and getting more and more desperate for the toilet but not being able to go as the area had closed and we couldn't have gotten back in. It was dire! But regardless, we had a wonderful time and I'll never forget it.

I know it's not friday and its late but still, I'm filling in the blanks, retrospectively.

As ever, thanks to Lauren at The little things we do

1.   New Years is  the chance to spend hours with your closest friends and also getting to meet lots of new people

2.   One of my New Year's resolutions will be to stop over analysing my relationships with other people, stop wondering why they would talk or say what they do or act the way they do and just go with it and see what happens.

3.  A New Year's resolution I've made in the past was to stop wearing jeans. If I'm not careful jeans become my uniform and i wear them day in day out so a few years ago I just stopped wearing jeans for about 2 years. I wore skirts and shorts and dresses and it was lovely. I've lasped again so I think I'll try again this year.

4. The most time consuming resolution I ever made was... I don't think I've ever had one. Unless you count promising myself to lose weight and keep it off- ongoing

5.  This year I will be spending New Year's Eve in the city with my best friends having a wonderful time watching the fireworks

6.  If I could wish one thing for my new year it would be  for this year to be as good as the last

7.  2012 is going to be  a year when I try lots of new things without worrying about the consequences, I'm going to throw myself in and have a ball


Night